Dan Aykroyd Isn't Going to Die, He's Leaving on a Spaceship

The comedy legend talks Mayan skulls, sex with ghosts, and Dr. Detroit sequels

Growing up as a Gen-Xer, I knew a few things with absolute certainty. One, we were definitely going to die in a nuclear war with Iran. Two, quicksand was basically lurking around every corner, just waiting to suck us down like some kind of sentient pit trap. And three—and this was gospel—when you got into a car for a road trip, the first thing you said was:“It’s 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark… and we’re wearing sunglasses.”

That line wasn’t just a quote. It was a mantra. A lifestyle. A cinematic tattoo etched into the brains of every kid raised on late-night TV and VHS rentals. It’s hard to believe, but The Blues Brothers hit theaters exactly 45 years ago, on June 20, 1980. And like everything Dan Aykroyd touched—from Ghostbusters to Doctor Detroit—it became instant comfort food. 

Dan Aykroyd got me through the Cold War, the Reagan years, and my intense fear of accidental thermonuclear annihilation. He helped us laugh when the world looked ready to melt. And now, maybe—just maybe—he can do it again.

These days, Aykroyd is one of those rare comedy legends who’s somehow gotten more entertaining the weirder he becomes. At 72 (he turns 73 soon), his blockbuster days may be mostly behind him, but he's kept himself plenty busy—hawking vodka in glass skulls, investigating UFOs, and doubling down on his belief that ghosts are real and probably unionized.

I called Dan to talk about his vodka business—but of course, the conversation went sideways in the best possible way. We discussed everything from spectral architecture and alien abductions to why there will never be a Doctor Detroit sequel, no matter how many candles I light.

Eric Spitznagel: So from what I’ve read, your vodka bottle design was inspired by magical crystal skulls used by the Aztecs. Is that right?

Dan Aykroyd: That is correct. The legend has it that there were thirteen crystal heads, and they were used by the Navajo, the Aztecs, and the Mayans as crystal balls. These skulls were capable of giving the tribe their positive enlightenment. They contained all human knowledge and provided insight into the past, present, and future. That’s the same experience we’re hoping to offer with our vodka.

ES: Enlightenment?

DA: Yes, absolutely. We hope people are enlightened when they drink it.

ES: That’s interesting, because usually when I drink vodka, I get noticeably dumber.

DA: You won’t get that way on our vodka. You won’t even get a hangover the next day.

ES: Come on!

DA: Our vodka contains no ethylene glycol, otherwise known as antifreeze. I’ve had eight shots in a single sitting and there was no hangover the next day.

ES: But you couldn’t go beyond eight?

DA: I haven’t tried it, and I wouldn’t recommend it. Crystal Head is 80 proof alcohol. If you go beyond eight shots, hey, best of luck to you. It’s also been triple-filtered through Herkimer diamonds, which gives it a psychic touch. Herkimer diamonds are only found in geophysically anomalous regions on the planet; one is in Afghanistan and the other’s in upstate New York. These are semi-precious quartz crystals, and I’ll admit as much—we pour our vodka over it because of the extraterrestrial link.

ES: The what?

DA: The Navajo, the Aztecs, the Mayans said they got their skulls from the star children. Herkimer County is of course near where Griffiss Air Force Base is, where there were a lot of scrambles on UFOs in the ’50s, ’60s, and ’70s.

ES: Are you being serious?

DA: Are you familiar with Einstein’s theory of spooky interaction in the distance? Are you familiar with the work of Richard Feynman, the physicist who discovered the proton that spun backwards? Are you a quantum fan at all?

ES: No. Can we go back to the UFOs for a minute? What does that have to do with vodka?

DA: If you go on Black Vault, John Greenewald’s site, you’ll see the scramble orders from Griffiss Air Force Base and how it’s linked to Herkimer. One can imagine that if these beings who gave the skulls to the Aztecs, the Navajo, the Mayans, if they have vessels that can visit this planet, Herkimer would show up as a very interesting scan.

ES: On their… spaceships?

DA: It’s basically a semi-precious diamond field where they’re just inches under the earth. So any mineral scanner would show Herkimer as a really, really super-charged area. And maybe that’s why they were coming down.