The Secret to Rock n’ Roll Survival is a Bugs Bunny Cartoon

In conversation with David Johansen and Sylvain Sylvain

Johansen (left) and Sylvain, performing in the 70s

I’ve been thinking a lot about David Johansen lately. As you may’ve heard, the legendary singer and frontman for the New York Dolls revealed earlier this month that he has stage 4 cancer. His daughter Leah started a Sweet Relief fundrasier to help cover his medical bills, and I encourage you to pitch in if you can. There aren’t a lot of safety nets for aging musicians, even punk icons.

It’s made me sad, and not just because somebody who made music I love is hurting. It’s a reminder that the artists we love are getting close to the end. Johansen is the last Doll standing — guitarist Sylvain Sylvain died of cancer a few years ago, bassist Arthur Kane was taken out by leukemia in 2004, drummer Jerry Nolan died of a stroke in the ‘90s, and Johnny Thunders… well, you know. Drugs are a helluva thing. There are currently as many living New York Dolls as there are working Blockbusters.

It sent me down a Dolls rabbit hole, and not just listening to the old records. I dug up my copy of The New York Dolls, a 1981 book written by Morrissey (yes, that Morrissey) back when he was still years away from discovering veganism and ironic cardigans. Here’s just a snippet:

“Their unmatched vulgarity dichotomized feelings of extravagant devotion or vile detestation. They served as a stark contrast to the tempo of the times with their ‘crude musicality’. They were transsexual junkies. They were downed out high school toughs posing as bisexual psychopaths... The Dolls became a derelict monument to devastated teenage America. They wanted as much as they could get and they wanted it NOW. But technically, the Dolls couldn't really play very well. They looked like haggard hookers from a 50's B-movie.”

This, it should be noted, was written by somebody who actually liked their music. But that’s what passed for musical veneration back in your father’s day.

Today, music fans defend their favorite artists with tweets or TikTok’s. Back then, in the pre-Internet stone age, fans showed their appreciation by spitting in their idols’ faces and lovingly insulting them in ‘zines.

It’s hard to explain if you weren’t there— and admittedly, I wasn’t. But I have watched that Midnight Special performance of “Personality Crisis” on You Tube a few hundred times, and even from the safe distance of the Internet, I feel like I know exactly what Morrissey was talking about.

It’s impossible to argue objectively about whether music has gotten better or worse in the last half century, but you have to admit this much: There aren’t nearly as many bisexual junkie psychopaths making catchy tunes anymore.

Ten years ago, I was lucky enough to interview both David Johansen and Sylvain Sylvain, who at the time were the sole surviving members of the Dolls and had just released a new album. Here’s the extended, unedited version of that conversation.

Eric Spitznagel: You guys have been wearing high heels on stage for years. How do you dance in those things without falling on your ass?

Sylvain Sylvain: Sometimes you do fall on your ass. That’s how you learn. It’s the hard knocks of show business. It’s like the first time you get booed off stage. You’re like, “Oh man, I don’t want to have that feeling ever again!”

David Johansen: There is a trick to it. We used to take our shoes to this shoemaker on 1st Avenue down in the East Village. He’d put a metal shank in the heels, and that’d make it street worthy. I used to do things in those shoes that they weren’t made to do, like running and stuff. You need more support for something like that.

ES: And with a shank in your heel, you could really tear the hell out of somebody’s face with a roundhouse kick.

DJ: I suppose you could. I never really thought of that, but yeah, you could whack ‘em in the head and do some damage.

ES: What are you wearing these days? How many inches? 

DL: Um. (Long pause.)

ES: It just occurred to me that “how many inches” could mean a few different things depending on the context. 

DL: Which answer do you want?