What's the Deal with the Hulk’s Magical Purple Pants?

Asking Stan Lee, Lee Majors, and Grover the tough questions

One of the perks of being in the journalisming business is that occasionally you get to meet your childhood heroes. They say, “Never meet your idols.” But I’ve never found to be true. You absolutely should meet your idols. And then you should ask them the dumbest nerd-fan questions imaginable.

If some magazine editor pays you to sit down with Stan “The Man” Lee, the comic book writer, publisher, and all-around legend, you’re a damn fool if you don’t ask him about the Hulk’s magical pants and why we never saw his green dong.

When you meet Lee Majors, the freaking Six Million Dollar Man, you will regret it the rest of your life if you don’t force him to say the “Dun-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh” bionic sound effect.

And when your job involves sitting down with the puppeteer who provides the voice and personality of Muppet icons like Grover, Bert, and Cookie Monster, you should ask the questions not of a professional, dignified journalist, but of a child obsessed with finding the exact geographic coordinates of Sesame Street.

Lee Majors

Eric Spitznagel: Do you own the Six Million Dollar Man toy version of yourself?

Lee Majors: I do have a couple of the dolls. Wait, hold on. You know what? They’re not dolls. They’re action figures.

ES: The eight-year-old me thanks you for saying that.

SL: Every time somebody asked me to sign one, if they called it a doll, I’d correct them. I’d say, “Look, it’s not a doll. It’s an action figure!”

ES: Was your action figure anatomically correct?

SL: [Long pause.] I’m not sure. It looked like me, if that’s what you’re asking.

ES: So you don’t have roll-back elastic skin?

SL: Not the last time I checked.

ES: How about a hole in the back of your head?

SL: You mean on me or the doll? I honestly don’t remember.

ES: I know for a fact there was a head hole on the doll.

SL: Whoa, whoa, whoa! It’s not a doll. There you go again.